Friday, July 12, 2013

Growing like weeds

Expecting another girl is quite the phenomenon.
There is no frantic need to cover up purple walls or 
exchange headbands for miniature neckties.
 Cayden doesn't have a hint of jealousy (yet) and keeps telling me how "baby sisser" is going to sleep in her bed WITH her and wear all her old clothes because Cayden's head is too big for them now. 
 There are a few things left to do, but really, if baby sister came today, 
I wouldn't be worried. 
Diaperless, yes, but not worried. 
 I keep telling myself that my world is about to be rocked, contemplating how I'm going to go to Winco with a newborn and a 2-year-old in tow (where will the groceries fit?) and wondering if I will ever have time for a nap...
 There is an overarching sense of peace, though. 
While I DO NOT consider myself an expert on girls, I am so thankful that I know at least a little bit. 
I'm also thankful that I can take both of my children into the women's dressing room at the pool, even after they turn 6. 
 I'm so excited to see what this baby girl looks like. 
Cayden has changed so much from her initial dark hair and dark blue eyes...but will baby sister look like Cayden as a baby? 
Will baby sister keep her blue eyes like me or get Bryan's eyes like Cayden?
Will she sleep through the night right away or take 8 months and 3 nights of crying it out, like her big sister?
 Is it normal to wonder how you could love another little person as much as you love your firstborn? 
Because I wonder that. 
Everyone tells me that I will love her just as much, and I think when she arrives, it will be a lesson in God's equal, abundant love for all of his children.  
 We are delightfully burdened with raising two little girls in this world of ever-increasing selfishness. 
I can't imagine the challenges that are headed our way. 
 I consider these the easy years.  
 These are the years when we lose sleep because our babies need us, 
not because they are out past dark and you hear sirens racing by.
 These are the years that they want to be like us. 
 The question is, will we be people we want them to emulate? 
 I see my daughter sitting her doll in the corner and talking sternly to her, 
"...no means no." 
Then, after the timer buzzes, she sets her baby against her chest 
and pats her on the butt and says, "it's ok."
I see her genuine compassion and wish I could say she got that from me, 
but I know this is an area where she is teaching me.
I hear her singing "Yes, Jesus...belong" (Jesus loves me) and I see the joy she brings into other people's lives and I pray that this is always the way things are.
Raising girls is a blessing.