Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Saying goodbye

Crying is not something I do well. It's a red eyes, wipe the nose, head down in shame mess. It's something I do when I watch the Oprah about a mom's three children dying in a car crash and when Mufasa dies. And it was something I did today.

It's not completely unusual for one of the kids at church to come to us crying, but today was different. Usually, the tears mean "I'm sorry," or "I wish my parents would just understand," or "why does this always happen to me?" But today they were tears of goodbye. Tears that silently said "I'm scared to leave," "What if I eat lunch alone every day in the cafeteria?" and "What if my roommate is crazy?" Angela left for college today. Angela, who back when she was an 8th grader, made us promise that we wouldn't leave Corvallis Korean Church until she graduated. She and Daniel did just that last June, and now both of them are off to their new lives. Daniel left last Friday for University of Arizona. He was sad to leave everyone, but excited to go. Angela, on the other hand was not excited to go, which makes it all the harder to put on a brave face telling her that everything will be fine in Atlanta, GA where she will be studying at Emory University. This is the unfortunate part of our job. Bryan and I have to say goodbye to students way too often. These kids are like our own. We've watched them grow up, watched them fall and rise and become more Christlike. We are so proud of them, and it's hard to let them go. It also makes me think about how someday Cayden will be 18 years old and wanting to leave for college. I already hate the idea. I hate it more every day. So for now I will treasure the memories and the photos where the children never get older.

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