This is one of those moments.
The moment in your life when you feel helpless.
The moment when you realize this world does not revolve around you.
The moment when you have to cry out to God, pleading with him to do what he is already doing.
The last time I had this moment, it was probably close to this time of night - 3:30 am....but I was laying in a hospital bed next to the most precious gift I've ever been given, straining my eyes in the dark to watch her tiny chest rise and fall. Sometimes I would wake in a panic, placing my hand on her swaddling to feel her tiny movements. I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me after she had just begun. Amidst that sleepless night, I finally gave up.
I gave up my power, I gave up my control, I gave up my daughter to Him.
I realized I cannot keep her breathing without Him. I cannot make her live a day longer than He ordains.
So I prayed.
Watch over my baby.
Please don't take her away.